2011 Manuscripts: December

December 15^th 2011

Location: Deep Underground

.A.

One day I am going to write a play. Or a novel. Or the longest endless transcript you’ve ever smelt. burning Paper with the eyes of a dark elf.[]

Avalon.

It is all so befuddled. I remember a room of potions. I remember falling from a ship, a very large ship. I remember Jack, I remember slum streets deserted.

DREAMS.

I am going to dream Avalon’s world. And then I will know.

He comes to me, in the waking world. He takes over my body. He has so much anger. So much fire, it tinkers away in me like a busted heater.

Not necessarily dream, but fall. I will fall sideways into his world. I will be him, in me. I’ve done it so many a time. But I was too selfish to see. To see he.

Now. I a m ready.

Avalon, I want to know your world. Even if the black on white one-two binary type is but a fake, I do this anyway. I want to know your world.

It is our world. Just like this waking rule is ours.

I wonder and I remember. Do I hide you? Do I smother you deep within, just as you do I in the night world?

I want to bridge our binary. Symbiose. I will not lie, right now, except the lies I believe myself. I will be honest: I am so tired, Avalon.

I am so tired by this waking world. That never sleeps, and despises a dream. The dream that keeps alive those awake.

I realize I need you. And perhaps you need me. Together, strength in infinity. 

Like a long lost friend. That is how I feel about you. A long lost lover, even. Yes.

I’m beginning my search. My scouring of the empty bowls of the dark expanse that is beyond any human thought, word, theory.

I’m looking for you… a companion within me, and without me.

Perhaps this is a self-made consolation for destiny. Perhaps this heeds not your long, candle-wicked ear. But, if you are right here, in that which I yet cannot feel, then you know what I have begun to exhale. You see what I have released.

Can we meet, some sunny night?