Blue Neux Moon

Blue Lips,
Blue Veins,
Blue, the color of our planet from far far away.


I touch in with here and now. Blue lips, mine are especially cherry in the light of the computer lens. A subterranean sight flickers before me. That of my feminine.

Outside, the normal neighbor culls the garbage can to the curb.

Blue, the most human color.


I've been listening to Regina Spektor, who I feel sings songs for herself to hear--she spreads her lips for her own sheer pleasure. I want to write like that, make my art like that. For my own sheer pleasure.

It's morning time, the 19th of February. My personality was birthed in a couple days, rebirthed.
I feel aloneness once again. Which is remarkable, scary, sweet.
Change is a complex task for a rainbowarrior to take in, relax into, transmute within. Internal alchemy.

I am so thankful for the music. I am deeply thankful for the music which helps buffer the anguish of my soul, and inspire my journey henceforth.

I will be okay. It is something I must develop for myself, my confidence in aloneness, in the hurt, in the muddiness of all the change.

Now I see how perfectionism has held me back, as well as the conditioned beliefs of my youth. With all of this inside my body I am ready to look at it, let go and grow. I want to be not something that has come before, but I know to become myself.

A two-spirited, queer phoenix dark elf. So deeply true and light in all my shadow. Full of abundance and love. A sharp and penetrative old medicine man and a "dumb-fucked foolish" baby.

Blue, the most human color.


I am ready to go to the show.
In love and magic.

M`A`R