Sunday, August 26, 2012

Hazy BeforeAfters

Bullet in the Brain- Tobias Wolff (1996)

Read it, it's...brief and timeless.

I've been thinking a lot, per usual. And feeling a lot too. The feeling part is less accessible to me and therefore slightly unnerving. . . .The joy hits me like a bullet to the brain.

It is, feelings of joy, bliss,
that wrap knuckles 'round my spine and womp me like a willow in the wind.

It's something that the cognitive creature within me cannot formulate to destroy. I can never truly describe the feelings of absolute bliss, or of absolute sorrow. I cannot ever truly understand them...if understanding means the computation of the brain into ideas made of words.

For at the end of the day, these words are but lies.

And that is okay by me. Because I feel...and in a way I feel a separation there, a space there

where feelings have room to breathe, unfettered by the chains that words and thoughts compose.


That is why we fall in love
or fall in hate
or sleep at night or relieve ourselves
in bodily functions....

and yet these words... they separate what is inextricably linked...

falling in love and defecating are the same thing...yes, conceptually...ah but can it be described in words?

I will try, albeit lazily. And like Wolff, by being brief.

 :   energy transfer. Motion.

Falling in love or defecating is the building of two "distinct" energy sources amongst a matrices of myriad others. Two organisms blending energies to synthesize another third, separated but connected energy.  And then the energy is built upon built upon built upon, until there is a climax (Any other arising parallels yet?) and then the energy must be released, decreases, dissipates. . .

either in the form of a turd
or a falling out of love....


Now, a turd can further be broken down by other organisms and recycled through the planet and used again,

so too can love be recycled...because one does not just fall in love and it remain this static or perpetually transcending line... no it obeys the cyclical nature of time and oscillates between "highs" and "lows" and deaths and rebirths.

What some call "True Love" (an interesting notion to me) is that "third-party synthesized energy" that is correctly formed to navigate each cycle of high and low, death and rebirth, and transcend in an upward spiral trajectory.

[What do I mean by correctly formed? I'm not damn sure, but I know it to happen. Again, it is beyond words. But, well, here: Correct formation... has to do with everything really... the two distinct personalities, the bodies, the souls, the environments, the experiences of lives past and present and future, and, of course, the True Will of each person. Puzzle pieces that do have the capacity to shift shape, of course, warp.]

I do not believe in coincidences, so I therefore take so-called "True Love" to be an energy transfer (in the form of an upward spiral trajectory) that is a necessary creation of two distinct Life Paths, and a necessary creation that is temporally longer than the majority of romantic relationships in one standard human lifetime. 

If that was discernible, then brava to me. It all makes sense in my head//soul.

Energy. Motion. All deducible to vibrations. All of it.

It is simple and yet, as is broadcasted above, possible of unending complexity.

Life.
Love.
Shits.

And the most fascinating part? We have the power to shift our perception. From the most minute details and fancy words

to just feeling bliss when I stare at a tree or any certain youthful soul. 

 
Wow. And from the emptiness comes light
and it is so dark and
it is so bright.
All that we know is quite
but not quite.
It comes as space and time
but not finite.
So just unstrap the belt,
let the hair flow
and
enjoy

enjoy the ride.



LOVE

M .A. R (todos)







  


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