Pain and Pleasure and Then Beyond

Trust It is my experience that trusting my uniqueness has meant excavating the deep conditioning that tells me my safety is in being homogenized. We can only start from loving ourselves for being exactly where we are, and not for being where our idealized self image would like us to be. The experiment of making decisions as myself has given me the experience that my real safety is in being a passenger, but my mind is still full of a 7 centered inheritance that tells me otherwise. Like many people, I even started by trying to ‘think’ my way into living my design. It is all part of the deconditioning process to see how the mind has been trained to run the life. From this we all have this 7 centered conditioning that encouraged us from a very young age to structure a ‘persona’ with which to meet the world. It runs deep in our psyche to do that with our minds. When you observe the ‘not self’ without judgment, it’s illusory nature becomes evident and the true self comes into the foreground. http://humandesignwise.com/deconditioningprocess.html

Loving the Not-Self   Meeting the presence of the not-self with compassion is a major part in the balancing act of finding the grounding of ‘true self’ and how that then allows for further excavation of the not-self. Deconditoning work is delicate, it takes time, it involves slowly but surely approaching the misguided not-self intention of the mind with love and acceptance. The not-self has it’s power only when it is hiding and to able to see it is to not be lost in being the not-self. Loving the Self is the natural outcome of living a 9 Centered life. The freedom of spirit is in the awareness of passenger consciousness.

Schizophrenia, is Taking Me Home

Any school of thought, philosophy, mental comprehending of the world, is but a tool.
Esoteric, exoteric, all bodies of thought...are a tool.

A tool to know the Truth.

Human design, psychology, physics, are not absolute Truths.
They are tools, to further along one's journey to the ineffable.

Co-incisions of realizations abound, I realized There Were No Words.
There were no words for the Truth. 
There are tools to help you step towards it.
But there are no words for the Truth.
Thought and concepts can only dance around the Truth.

The dao you speak of is not the True Dao.

Yes.
Liberation.

And the responsibility one has to approach the ineffable, to embrace the living out of your Truth. And thoughts will not be there, at the apex of your Truth. But they will dance around it, and the fire shall be True and it shall burn even into and beyond your death, which is but a continuation of your life, your fire, your Truth.

Human design is my tool to dance around the fire that my mind cannot and should not touch.

I am learning that there is no answer in the intellectual realm. There is an answer in full individuation. For me. To feel that I am the universe, and I am me, and I am constant change.

Transmutation. Me, with my third line conscious and my fifth line unconscious. No wonder I fell deeply in love with the I Ching when I met it. It was one of those moments when I returned home.
 

In our metaphor of the hexagram as house, between the third and fourth lines can be imagined a spiral staircase. This is the potential to move from the inner process to the outer. The third line personality has the keynote of adaptation. It is this line through its foundation that expresses the complete nature of the lower trigram. It is the finishing of the first floor of the house.

In its blood is the potential, through the fifth line unconscious, to universalize. However, not prepared for the other, it is often naive in its assumptions. The third line personality is a theme of trial and error. Any attempt to universalize out of the subjective is bound to meet resistance.

The third line personality is not rigid like the fourth line. It is not fixed in its nature. It is built to bend, to adapt. When its attempts at universalization fail or are unmasked for their subjectivity in meeting the other, they can adapt. They have a chance to learn from their mistakes. We live in a culture in which mistakes are considered something negative and to be avoided. We are punished for the mistakes we make. In the extreme we are humiliated or even abused. So many human beings who carry third line themes suffer in this life through presumed failure. Mistakes are interpreted as failure. But the theme is trial and error. Through this theme mistakes are not negative but a process that can lead to profound results. It is extremely common in scientific research that a mistake leads to great discovery. Pasteur is a classic example.

And so I revel in mutation. In the transitions within transitions within transitions taking place Now. In the stillness of this space, so much unbridled movement, I revel. 

Here. The year of the serpent and archetypes abound. The year of Secrets revealed and slithering investigation and precaution. The year where skin is shed again and again. A quieter moment of lightning change. Where I place intention in ambition and look to return ever closer to home, in my Self which is the Universe, and a mahogany nap-sack brimming with trial and, yes, success.

 In the form of error.

Integration, Do Re Mi: To Do and Be

And speaking of being.  It’s no longer possible to Do without Being.  Or to Be without Doing.  We can’t spend our lives meditating to feel good.  We must integrate our disparate selves and bring them out into the field of infinite possibilities.  We can’t go out into the world protesting, struggling against evil, incessantly helping others without stopping to take a breathe and connect to our own inner essence.  We are being called to a place where Being and Doing are the same thing.  In this place we find synchronicity and joyful co-creation, because we have moved beyond egoistic achievement and unconscious self sabotage.  It also moves us out of trying to live our ideals, a place that is akin to slavery to old religious or philosophic beliefs.

                                                                            -Kim Gould


All of this takes time, the slippage of sands, the percolation of a solitary oasis that all others have dipped each golden hand in.

The Yin capacity. The open, pulsating, power of vulnerability. of strength, not power. Laid in the darkness of its beginnings for centuries now.

I recognizing the fractal dualities, biverse into biverse into biverse into biverse again and again. I recognize my duality, especially accentuated as I can both manifest and generate. I can both exert Yang and absorb through Yin.

I reorient myself to the Yin, now. This labial flower is a small, smiling seed. . . I have the Yang talons golden and sharpened. I have my beak, ever penetrating out into the world. My raptor eye that rarely ceases to cut through other's armors of the ego. I have all that, wonderous predatory beauty.

And I turn to Yin.

I turn to weakness, fragility, horror, the fetal position and small screams choked and foreign from my foamed mouth.

Because from there divine inspiration will take me in its rapture, sweet and quiet like lips brushed against the small hairs of the face. Small hairs, large sensations. 

And from there I will know true strength. I will know a joy beyond all cognitive conception or sensory perception. I will know joy from such a dark forbidden place with paralyzing fear, fear for the chance of no return. I will know a joy so viscous, thick, slow moving aorund my vessel, that I will gasp in the pain of the greatest surprise. To end with an exhale of a confusion laid to rest.

Perhaps my greatest fear is not the state of Confusion.

Perhaps I am so entirely afraid to Know.


For knowing often has no way of expressing itself.







And then I found Art.




LO.V.E.

M .A. R

Rainbowarriors Here Doth Come

The God Androgyne: Viracocha

"When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow."

  

                                               -Native American Prophecy

Synchronicity and the Skin is No Boundary

THE RESPONSE FIELD

"

The Response Field is the term I give to the state of consciousness reached by a generator living out their true nature. In the beginning, as I begun to experiment with waiting and responding and not responding, I made small successes. Every now and again, I would encounter a synchronicity, a moment of magic when the timing of the universe would reveal itself to me without my having done anything. As I continued experimenting with my strategy, synchronicity became more and more commonplace, until now I hardly give it a thought. It seems to me as though a field of energy has softly lowered itself over me until I am living fully within it. This is the Response Field. It is a state of being when you cannot help but move in flow with life. People think there is such a thing as luck. People think there is such a thing as magic. My experience is that there is nothing but luck and nothing but magic. I live within that field now. That doesn't mean I don't suffer and it doesn't mean my life is all plain sailing. It does mean that I don't have to worry about where I am going. The Response Field shoulders all the responsibilities for me. I have just learned how not to initiate.

       

                "            

YES.

Thank You.

M .A. R

Fire of Hope

"It also says something very, very, very special. I know this myself. I have a deep love for my children and I recognize that in every child being born, this is an incredible opportunity that must not be lost, because there are going to be less and less, and each and every one of them needs to be able to live in the world that they are going to live in. A world that will not be rooted in the tribal collective, a world that will not be rooted in the institutions and the concerns of societies, the movement away from the Cross of Planning. The movement into the era of the 59-55, the Sleeping Phoenix, the cycle of the Phoenix, a cycle that is so deeply individual. The 59-55 with the 20/34:                     I am busy now surviving."

 The New Aeon

 Here We Come



My Future is The Synthesis.

.LOVE.

Let My Words Sink, In Like Wine

"Because we live in an emotional environment, everything takes time."

Our learning curve is this life. We ride the emotional wave 'til our death. We are the crest and the crash. The only reward for patience is patience. 


All Things Change, All These Changes



There are things known, 
and unknown,
 and in between is
 the waiting.
 




.LOVE
abundant.